she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
