I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
