we have officially lost it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
