i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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