spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
