Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's shark week go big or go home
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
