Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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