sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
