I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
