maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He kissed a someone with a penis
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize