WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize