i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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