glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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