He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
