I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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