it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
