I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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