I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
