I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
