these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
