No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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