Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
