So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize