Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
