DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize