Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
