the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
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