That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
