I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
