I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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