We won't sleep together?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
