you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
