I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
