He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Green mimosas i think yes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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