You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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