I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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