his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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