In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
