The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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