Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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