So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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