We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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