I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
