guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
love makes seman taste better
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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