I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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