dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
