is this the sara with the beer cane?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
