You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
