sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
