well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All the doctor said was why
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
