About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
