I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
