i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
