I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm really busy with my period
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