Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
