People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
